Feeling Disconnected? Here are 3 Ways to Reconnect
Thanks to the glitz and glamor of Hollywood movies, many couples have been led to believe that the secret to reconnecting and rekindling their passion is through a Caribbean cruise, new sports cars, jewelry, other lavish gifts, etc. The reality, however, is that once there is a disconnect between partners, gifts and vacations simply cannot solve such issues with some otherworldly magic.
It may seem counterintuitive, but love is mended not through grandiose deeds, and is instead done through many small acts of kindness via what may be seemingly micro-moments. It is in these moments when we have a choice to listen to our partner and love them.
If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, here are a few ways you can reconnect:
Pay Better Attention
It is not maliciousness, but rather mindlessness that often causes a disconnect. When our partner turns to us with an emotional need, or to simply be heard, do we stop what we are doing and give them our full attention? Or do we mumble something and nod a little, all-the-while checking our Facebook page or other social media?
One of the most important steps to reconnecting is to become more self-aware and understand that you are, most likely, not paying your partner the kind of attention they seek and deserve. When they reach for you, reach back. Showing kindness and respect, especially in those moments when it feels hard — like when the sports game or something else is on or your coworker is texting you with a bit of juicy office gossip — will go a long way toward reconnecting you.
Try to Understand Your Partner Better
Often times disconnection comes not from what is said between you both, but what is not said. Many couples complain that they feel their partner wants them to be a mind reader!
However, what partners really want is for the other person to take the time to get to know them. Think about it, if you’ve been with your spouse or partner for three years, five years, fifteen years and you STILL don’t know what scares them, frustrates them or pleases them, what does that say? Are they not worth you taking the time to try and understand them as a person?
If you truly want to reconnect, know that it will take a lot of work, and much of that work will simply be learning how your partner operates. The good news is that understanding each other better means you will not take things so personally anymore. Instead of seeing your partner as angry or defensive all of the time, you’ll recognize his sensitivities and her fears.
Reconnecting should not necessarily feel like work! The best way to rekindle the joy and passion is to play together. Go to a movie, play air hockey, try rollerblading… whatever it is, just try and have genuine fun together.
Relationships are work, and most couples will experience a sense of disconnect from time to time. If you follow these three steps, you’ll be able to not only reconnect but feel closer than ever. And, if you feel you need more help reconnecting with one another, seek the guidance of a professional therapist, such as those who are on staff at Seoul Counseling Center (SCC) in Sinsa, Pyeongtaek, and online.
If you or a loved one are interested in exploring expert treatment, please contact us today. We would be extremely happy to speak with you about how we may be able to help, no matter what issues you might be facing.
Thanks for reading “Feeling Disconnected? Here are 3 Ways to Reconnect”, be sure to check our other blog posts for more useful tips.